A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"I...

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a

blonde joke?"In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you

tell that joke, you should know something."Our bartender IS blonde,

the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting

next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to

your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is

blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"The

blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

A bloke wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember an...

A bloke wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night. He picks up his dressing gown from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra.



He thinks to himself,"Uh oh. What happened last night?" He walks towards the bathroom and finds some knickers in the other pocket of his gown.



Again he thinks, "What happened last night. What have I done? It must have been a wildparty," making his best attempt to conclude and accept the evidence. He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is, "If there's a God, please let this be a fucking tea bag."

Joke For Everyday

Fans Its Time To Comment-----Comment---Comment

Fans Its Time To Comment-----Comment---Comment





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A guy walks into an ice-cream shop with his wife and his son. He says, "I'll hav...

A guy walks into an ice-cream shop with his wife and his son. He says, "I'll have a chocolate cone."



His wife says, "I'll have a vanilla cone." Then the man slaps his son on the back of the head and says, "What do you want, Fat Head?"



The lady behind the counter asks, "Why did you smack him and call him fat head?"



The husband replies, "There are 3 things in life a man wants! The first thing is a nice big truck. You see that nice big truck sitting out there? That's mine! The second thing a man wants in life is a nice big house. You see that great big house on top of the hill on the edge of town? That's mine! The third thing a man wants in life is a nice tight pussy and I had that until Fat Head came along!"

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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie lo...

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.



The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."



The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."



The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.



The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.



After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "



The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

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LIKE/SHARE To Spray Them Away

LIKE/SHARE To Spray Them Away





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A beautiful woman was walking down the street when a man approached her. The ma...

A beautiful woman was walking down the street when a man approached her.

The man said, "You are perfection, I must have you right now! I'll drop £500 at your feet and during the time it takes for you to pick it up, I can fuck you roughly from behind!"



The woman thinks it over and asks to the man to wait a minute. She calls her friend and asks her opinion. Her friend says, "The man's an idiot. Take it because, when he drops the £500 on the ground, I'm sure you can pick it up and run off before he can even get his cock out."



Two hours later the lady still hadn't phoned her friend back, so the friend phones her instead.



"Well? What happened?" she asks.



"The fucker had it in fifty pence pieces!"

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Joke For Everyday

fUCK....

fUCK....





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Joke For Everyday

UTAH...

UTAH...





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LOL...

LOL...





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LIKE.....

LIKE.....





Joke For Everyday

Harry Potter chat-up lines: Could I get my basilisk into your chamber of secret...

Harry Potter chat-up lines:



Could I get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets?



Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!



I wanna be your Dumblewhore.



Let's go deep into your Forbidden Forest.



Baby I'm tighter than Gringott's security and I'd love to take you down and show you the vaults.



Hey baby, I may be a Gryffindor, but something in my pants is a Slytherin.



Get your cloak, you've pulled.



Looked in the Mirror of Erised and saw you baby. Then I went to the Room of Requirement and it was full of tissues.



Wanna learn to speak troll? I'll get you grunting in no time.



Before me and my last girlfriend used to go up there, the Shrieking Shack was just called the Shack.

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On their wedding night, young Diane says to new hubby, "If you don't remove your...

On their wedding night, young Diane says to new hubby, "If you don't remove your socks, I am not getting in bed at all."



Hubby is determined not to remove the socks. Diane argues he is perhaps kinky!



Hubby eventually gives in. "Alright," he says, "I have hid this from you all through our courting days, though. Look." Removing the socks, one foot is only half there!



"I lost it during an accident at work," he explains. "It embarrasses me."



Diane runs downstairs. Ever so upset, she telephones her Mum. Sobbing on the phone, she cries to her Mum, "He only has a foot and a half!"



Mother replies, "Hang on, young lady. You pack your bags and get back home, tell him I am on my way over!"

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A business man packing for a trip glances in his briefcase. "Honey?" "Yes, dar...

A business man packing for a trip glances in his briefcase.



"Honey?"



"Yes, darling?"



"Honey," he says, in mild exasperation, "why do you persist in putting a condom in my briefcase every time I go on a trip? You know I only have eyes for you. I'd never be unfaithful."



"Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you," she replies sweetly, "It's just that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you'd be protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won't you? For my sake?"



"Oh, alright, if you put it that way," he relented, "I'll do it for you. But for fuck's sake, give me more than one!"



Naughty Picture & Adult joke

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Welcome to my Page, see the bright lights, diamonds on my wrists, bright lights,...

Welcome to my Page, see the bright lights, diamonds on my wrists, bright lights, the sexy quotes, the hot girls, the funny pix.



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A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He a...

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment.



She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."



The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."



The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"



He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."



The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."



The patient replied, "Send my bill to my brother-in-law."



Naughty Picture & Adult joke

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LOL

LOL





Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Two tramps are walking down the road, so the one stops and says "Hey man, did yo...

Two tramps are walking down the road, so the one stops and says "Hey man, did you step in dog shit?" The second tramp checks and says "Nope" They walk on some more, the first tramp says "Fuck it man, did you fart??"

The second tramp shakes his head. They carry on walking. The first one says "No dude, I smell shit. Did you crap in your pants??"

"No, I swear I didn't" says the second.

The first glares at him and says "I don't believe you. Drop your pants, I wanna see for myself."

Second tramp drops his pants and sure enough, orange shit smeared EVERYWHERE!!! Its down his legs runny and chunky.

The first says "I TOLD you man! You shat in your pants!!"

Second tramp replies "No man, the shit was there when I found them"

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Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Thank god

Thank god





Joke For Everyday

Relationship where no one wears the pants.

Relationship where no one wears the pants.





Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

A man and his friend stop by the local pub after work. He loses track of time, l...

A man and his friend stop by the local pub after work. He loses track of time, looks at his watch and sees that it's 11:00.

He says, "Oh shit! My wife's going to kill me! I've got to get home."

His buddy says, "Relax, try what I do. Whenever I'm out too late, I just sneak into the house, tiptoe up the stairs, quietly slip into bed, and go down on my wife. She'll be so happy, she'll forget about you being out too late."

The guy thanks him, leaves, and follows his friend's advice. He sneaks into the house, slips under the covers and goes to work. When he's finished, he gets up to use the bathroom. He opens the door and is shocked to see his wife sitting on the toilet. He screams, "What the hell are you doing in here!?"

The wife says, "Be quiet! Grandma's sleeping in the other room!"

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A boy called up his mom "mom, i have AIDS" Mom "what? don't come back home son,...

A boy called up his mom

"mom, i have AIDS"

Mom "what? don't come back

home son, go away"



Boy "why mom, i'm your son"

Mom "you foolish boy!

If you come back home, then

your wife will be

infected,from your wife to

your brother,

from your brother to our

maid, from our maid to your dad,

from your dad to my sister,

from my sister to her husband,

from her husband to me,

from me to our gardener,

from our gardener to your sister..

And if your sister got it, then

the whole town is in trouble.

#WTF

Joke For Everyday

LIKE/SHARE FANS

LIKE/SHARE FANS





Joke For Everyday

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and duri...

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.



Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."



Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."



She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."



Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the cunt. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"



"Tarzan check for bees."

Joke For Everyday

I ASKED A GIRL...

I ASKED A GIRL...





Joke For Everyday

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a Young woman w...

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a Young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex."

The researcher was a little taken back. "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's Bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you Use it for sex?"

The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all... My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."

Joke For Everyday

LOL...

LOL...





Joke For Everyday

Harry Potter chat-up lines: Could I get my basilisk into your chamber of secret...

Harry Potter chat-up lines:



Could I get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets?



Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!



I wanna be your Dumblewhore.



Let's go deep into your Forbidden Forest.



Baby I'm tighter than Gringott's security and I'd love to take you down and show you the vaults.



Hey baby, I may be a Gryffindor, but something in my pants is a Slytherin.



Get your cloak, you've pulled.



Looked in the Mirror of Erised and saw you baby. Then I went to the Room of Requirement and it was full of tissues.



Wanna learn to speak troll? I'll get you grunting in no time.



Before me and my last girlfriend used to go up there, the Shrieking Shack was just called the Shack.

Joke For Everyday

You call It "Bitching"

You call It "Bitching"





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Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

Welcome to my Page, see the bright lights, diamonds on my wrists, bright lights,...

Welcome to my Page, see the bright lights, diamonds on my wrists, bright lights, the sexy quotes, the hot girls, the funny pix.



Like Naughty Picture & Adult joke

Joke For Everyday

lol....

lol....





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Joke For Everyday

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Joke For Everyday

Joke For Everyday

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Like/share fans....

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